Chapter 1: BIRTH ORDER AND YOUR PLACE IN LIFE

- No. Because birth order affects children's personalities.

- A child's personality is determined by whether one is an only child, the oldest,a middle, or the youngest child.

How Your Birth Order Influences Your Life Adjustment

Lucille K. Forer

In the article " How Your Birth Order Influences Your Life Adjustment," the author Lucille Forer writes how people's birth order influences their characters and personality. The author says that other family members' expectations toward each child according to their birth decide their roles in their family, and the roles become part of his/her self-concept. A person's birth order influences him to develop certain attitudes toward other people and helps him develop specific patterns of behavior. 

According to Forer, birth orders consist of only child, oldest child, middle child, or youngest child, each with their own responsibilities and authority over the others. The authority or power refers to the family hierarchy. Everybody does have one position in the members but he may not be aware of it.

The birth order of a child decides what position or place he will occupy in the family. He may become the family's only child, oldest child, middle child, or youngest child, depending on his birth order. People talk about him, the identity he establishes and the perception of himself and to others depend on his place in the family.

The other members of the family build certain attitudes toward each child in terms of his birth order. Forer says that parents usually expect their oldest child to be more capable and more responsible than the younger children. The oldest child comes to think about himself in the same way. These way of seeing himself, of thinking about himself because of his sibling role, become part of his self self-concept.

Similarly, the middle child thinks of himself as more capable than his younger siblings. But, sometimes, though, he takes help from older sibling or his parents, and so he thinks of himself as being able to obtain help when he needs it.

The youngest child may develop the self-concept that he is less able to do many things than other people. However, he is not concerned because there are always others around to take care of him. As a result, there is likelihood of youngest child to become pampered  (babied/spoiled/Treat with excessive indulgence) because more attention is given to him and his demands are fulfilled easily.

In contrast, the only child tends to think that he is helpless in absence of his parents, so he learns to take care of himself as much as possible.

The place in the family  establishes for the child a specific role to be played within the family group. It influences him to develop certain attitudes toward himself and toward other people and helps him develop specific patterns of behavior. Thus, Forer explains the differences between siblings by looking at their birth order.

ज्येष्ठ सन्तान :

• सुरुमा अभिभावकसंग घनिष्ट सम्बन्ध विकास हुने जसबाट उसले नक्कल गर्दै सिकाई गर्दछ।  
• अभिभावकको भूमिका निर्वाह गर्ने। 
• अन्य सन्तानको लागि आदर्श वा नमुना बन्ने र अभिभावक तथा आफु मुनिका सन्तानहरु बीच तगारो बन्ने। 
• अन्य सन्तान भन्दा सक्षम ठान्ने र अरुलाई कम सक्षम ठान्ने।  

पछि जन्म लिने सन्तानहरु (बिचमा तथा अन्तिममा):

• अभिभावकहरुको अनुभवले गर्दा सहज महसुस गर्ने। 
• आफु एक्लो वा अपर्याप्त भएको अनुभव नगर्ने। 
• बाल्यावस्थाबाट बयस्कमा सहज प्रवेश गर्ने। 

बीचमा जन्मने सन्तान:

• कहिलेकाही सक्षम भएको र आवश्यक पर्दा अरुको सहयोग लिने। 
• अन्य सन्तानहरुको सक्षमताबारे स्पष्ट धारणा नहुने।  

कान्छो वा अन्तिममा जन्मने सन्तान:

• आफु कम सक्षम भएको ठान्ने तर बेवास्ता गर्ने किनकि आफुलाइ आवश्यक पर्दा अरुले सघाउने छन् भन्ने बारे ढुक्क हुने।  

एकल सन्तान (एक मात्र सन्तानको रुपमा जन्म लिने):

• अरुलाई आफूभन्दा सक्षम देख्ने। 
• आत्मनिर्भरको विकास गर्ने।  

Born for Each Other?

Pamela Withers

Persistent : -     लगातार

Like How your Birth Order Influences Your Life Adjustment by Lucille K. Forer, the article Born for Each Other by Pamela Withers express a general agreement that birth order does shape our attitudes and behavior. In this magazine article, the writer has two purposes: to inform and to entertain the reader. The topic-what makes two people a good match for each other- is of interest to most people. The title of the article borrows from an expression one often hears when people talk of a good match. If a man and a woman are "born for each other", they are perfect for each other in every way.

The writer brings the example of a couple, Ronald and Lois, who were married twenty years ago. In the early years of their marriage, they were disturbed by constant arguments. They decided to find out the cause of  their unsuccessful married life. They started to research on the subject: how birth order (whether you come along first, second or later in your family) affects not only your personality, but also how compatible you are with your mate!

Ronald and Lois were only children (also called the onlies) who grow up in the constant love, care and affection from their parents, being the apples of their parents' eyes. Children born as onlies demand constant attention and approval from their parents as a result they subconsciously expect partners to fulfill their expectations. Their domineering behavior can result in quarrels and unhealthy relationships.

Here is list of common birth-order characteristics:

Oldest Child:

The oldest children tend to be self-assured (exhibiting self confidence), responsible, a high achiever, and relatively serious and reserved, with parental qualities as a result of caring for younger siblings. He may dislike criticism or tolerate others' mistakes, and he may be slow to make friends, perhaps content with only one companion.. The oldest child born among same sex: siblings seem to be more independent and domineering (Rule or exercise power over (somebody) in a cruel and autocratic manner). It may be difficult for him or her to find a suitable mate. The best matches are with the youngest, an only, or a mate raised with a large number of opposite-sex siblings. The worst match is with another oldest of same-sex siblings. The oldest sister of brothers is a good match with a youngest, whom she can take care and nurture well. The oldest brother of sisters tends to be easygoing, fun-loving, considerate, very fond of women, and good at pleasing females so he is especially well matched with the youngest sister of brothers.

Youngest Child:

The youngest child of the family gets too much attention and tends to be outgoing, adventurous, optimistic, creative, easygoing and less ambitious than others in the family. He may lack self-discipline, get manipulated and have  difficulty making decisions on his own.  A younger sister of sisters will match best with an oldest siblings who is charmed by her playfulness. A youngest brother of brothers, often headstrong (self-willed), unpredictable, and romantic, will match best with an oldest or middle sister of brothers. The youngest sister of brothers is best matched with an oldest brother of sisters.

Middle Child:

The middle children is often introverted (self-examining), less likely to take initiative or achieve high academic standards, and more anxious and self-critical than others. The middle child's most successful marriage will be with a close sibling. Middles often successfully marry other middles, since both are tactful, and not so aggressive.

Only Child:

The only child picks up characteristics picks up of her same-sex parent's birth order, and this may influence who represents his/her best match. S/he feels comfortable when alone. The only child bears the capacity to adjust with any individual, so he/she will fit with any chosen partner. The only child's best matched with a younger or middle sister of brothers, or oldest sister of brothers. His/Her most difficult match is with another only. The female only child, who tends to be slightly more flexible, is well matched with an older man. Any birth order will do, but her best match is apt to be a brother of sisters. Her worst match is another only child.

Exercises:

PART 1

A) Reflection - capable, confident, fast learner, flexible, independent, parental, protected by parents, responsible, sometimes lonely, tattletale {ta-t(u)l, teyl}(Someone who gossips indiscreetly), usually dependent on parents

OLDER BROTHER/SISTER : - confident, capable, independent, responsible

YOUNGER BROTHER/SISTER : -  usually dependent on parents, tattletale

ONLY CHILD : - protected by parents

ME : - flexible

B) Discussion - 

Answer 1 - A

Answer 2 - A

Answer 3 - A

Answer 4 - A

Answer 5 - A

Answer 6 - A

Answer 7 - D

Answer 8 - A

C) Preparing to Read :

• Previewing the Vocabulary:

Answer 1 - C  (hierarchy: power structure)

Answer 2 - B 

Answer 3 - A

Answer 4 - C (hovering over: move to and fro/Be undecided about something; waver between conflicting positions or courses of action )

Answer 5 - C

Answer 6 - C

Answer 7 - B

Answer 8 - C

Answer 9 - B

Answer 10 - B (sustenance : nourishment/What needs to be eaten to sustain a person's body; food, esp. food containing the required vitamins and energy )

Answer 11 - C

Answer 12 - B

Answer 13 - C

Answer 14 - C (adequate : enough/Sufficient for the purpose)

Q: Which birth order results in the most responsible child? The least responsible?

Q : In what ways might an only child become more independent than a middle or youngest child?

PART 3

A: Reflection and Discussion:

Answer 1 - B

Answer 2 - C

Answer 3 - A

PART 4

Exercise 1 - PARAPHRASING

What is Paraphrasing?

Paraphrasing is expression of same message in different word/s especially to achieve greater quality. Or, in other words Paraphrasing is when we put someone else's ideas in our own words. It's not just rewriting a paragraph or changing a few words. 

Answer 2 - The oldest child tries to be parental when a sibling arrives.

Answer 3 - Later children are better off because parents seem to be more tolerant and experienced to the older children.

Answer 4 -  One very important way that later children differ is that parents very little identify themselves with them than with first child.

Answer 5 - The child's position in the family determines what impression he has for himself and others have for him.

 Exercise 3 - SENTENCE GRAMMAR: Phrases, Clauses, and Fragments

PHRASE: Group of related words that may include either subject or a verb but does not include both.
Phrase can not stand alone because it is not a sentence; it is only part of a sentence.
PREPOSITIONAL phrase begins with prepositions (e.g- from, in, with, by, etc.)

CLAUSE: Clause is a group of related words that contains both a subject and a complete verb that has tense (e.g- went, is going, has gone). Clauses can be independent or dependent.
Dependent clause cannot stand alone; it must appear with an independent clause. Dependent clause begins with a word like - because, when, while, although, if, whereas, since, who, which, that, etc.   

NOTE for SELF: A phrase is a group or words that express a concept and is used as a unit within a sentence. A phrase is a small group of words that forms a meaningful unit within a clause. There are several different types, as follows:

Noun phrase : A noun phrase is built around a single noun, for example:

A vase of roses stood on the table.

She was reading a book about the emancipation of women.

Verb phrase : A verb phrase is the verbal part of a clause, for example:

She had been living in London.

I will be going to college next year.

Adjective Phrase : An adjective phrase is built around an adjective, for example:

He’s led a very interesting life.

A lot of the kids are really keen on football.

Adverbial Phrase : An adverbial phrase is built round an adverb by adding words before and/or after it, for example:

The economy recovered very slowly.

They wanted to leave the country as fast as possible.

Infinitive Phrase:  An infinitive phrase is the infinitive form of a verb plus any complements and modifiers. The complement of an infinitive verb will often be its direct object, and the modifier will often be an adverb. For example:

He likes to knead the dough slowly.
(The infinitive verb is to knead. The complement is its direct object (the dough). The modifier is the adverb (slowly). They all make up the infinitive phrase (the shaded text).)
Examples of Infinitive Phrases
He helped to build the roof.
The officer returned to help the inspectors.
Let me show you the best way to fit a door quickly.
She tells you to dance like no one is watching.

An infinitive phrase can play the role of a noun, an adjective, or an adverb.

Infinitive Phrases Used As Nouns
He helped to build the roof.
The only solution is to lower the standards.

Infinitive Phrases Used As Adjectives
Let him show you the best way to paint the door.
I need a book to read on holiday.

Infinitive Phrases Used As Adverbs
The officer returned to help the inspectors
He opened the box to reveal a huge bullfrog.

Prepositional Phrase : In a prepositional phrase the preposition always comes at the beginning, for example:

I longed to live near the sea. 

The dog was hiding under the kitchen table.

Of course, we also use the word phrase to refer to a short group of words that have a particular meaning when they are used together, such as rain cats and dogs, play for time, or a square meal. This type of phrase is often referred to as an idiom.

A clause is a group of words that contains a verb (and usually other components too). A clause may form part of a sentence or it may be a complete sentence in itself. For example:

He was eating a bacon sandwich.

[clause]

She had a long career but she is remembered mainly for one early work.

[clause] [clause]

Main clause

Every sentence contains at least one main clause. A main clause may form part of a compound sentence or a complex sentence, but it also makes sense on its own, as in this example:

He was eating a bacon sandwich.

[main clause]

Compound sentences are made up of two or more main clauses linked by a conjunction such as and, but, or so, as in the following examples:

I love sport and I’m captain of the local football team.

[main clause] [conjunction] [main clause]

She was born in Spain but her mother is Polish.

[main clause] [conjunction] [main clause]

Subordinate Clause

A subordinate clause depends on a main clause for its meaning. Together with a main clause, a subordinate clause forms part of a complex sentence. Here are two examples of sentences containing subordinate clauses:

After we had had lunch, we went back to work.

[subordinate clause] [main clause]

I first saw her in Paris, where I lived in the early nineties.

[main clause] [subordinate clause]

There are two main types of subordinate clause: conditional clauses and relative clauses.

Conditional clause

A conditional clause is one that usually begins with if or unless and describes something that is possible or probable:

If it looks like rain a simple shelter can be made out of a plastic sheet

[conditional clause] [main clause]

I'll be home tomorrow unless the plane's delayed for hours.

[main clause] [conditional clause]

Relative clause

A relative clause is one connected to a main clause by a word such as which, that, whom, whose, when, where, or who:

I first saw her in Paris, where I lived in the early nineties.

[main clause] [relative clause]

She wants to be with Thomas, who is best suited to take care of her.

[main clause] [relative clause]

I was wearing the dress that I bought to wear to Jo's party.

 [main clause] [relative clause]

Using relative clauses

Have you ever wondered about when to use that and when to use which or who in this type of sentence? In fact, for much of the time that is interchangeable with either of these words. For example:

√ You’re the only person who has ever listened to me.

√ You’re the only person that has ever listened to me.

√ It’s a film that should be seen by everyone.

√ It’s a film which should be seen by everyone

When referring to something, rather than someone, that tends to be the usual choice in everyday writing and conversation in British English. However, there is one main case when you should not use that to introduce a relative clause. This is related to the fact that there are two types of relative clause: a restrictive relative clause and a non-restrictive relative clause.

Restrictive relative clause

A restrictive relative clause (also known as a defining relative clause) gives essential information about a noun that comes before it: without this clause the sentence wouldn't make much sense. A restrictive relative clause can be introduced by that, which, whose, who, or whom. You should not place a comma in front of a restrictive relative clause:

√ She held out the hand which was hurt.

√ She held out the hand that was hurt.

[main clause] [restrictive relative clause]

You can also leave out that or which in some restrictive relative clauses:

√ It reminded him of the house that he used to rent in Oxford.

√ It reminded him of the house which he used to rent in Oxford.

√ It reminded him of the house he used to rent in Oxford.

[main clause] [restrictive relative clause]

Non-restrictive relative clause

A non-restrictive relative clause (also called a non-defining relative clause) provides extra information that could be left out without affecting the meaning or structure of the sentence. Non-restrictive relative clauses are normally introduced by which, whose, who, or whom, but never by that. You should place a comma in front of them:

She held out her hand, which Rob shook.

[main clause] [non-restrictive relative clause]

If a non-restrictive relative clause is in the middle of a sentence, you should put commas before and after it:

Bill, who had fallen asleep on the sofa, suddenly roused himself.



EXERCISE 4:

Answer 2.  In Egypt the relatives are more likely to live with the family than they are in many western countries.
Answer 3.  There may be more resources like attention and affection for the children with other adult relatives in the household. 
Answer 4.  This extended family configuration (shape/An arrangement of parts or elements) probably changes the effects of birth order.
Answer 5.  There may be less competition for the parents' affection among siblings.
Answer 6.  It would be surprising to most of us, however, if none of the ideas about birth order were correct for Egypt.
Answer 7.  For example, we would still expect the oldest child to be more responsible in comparison with his brothers and sisters.


FRAGMENTS:

A grammatical sentence must have at least one independent clause (MAIN CLAUSE) with a subject and a complete verb that has tense. The independent clause must express a complete thought.
In formal writing if the sentence lacks grammar or is not independent clause, we call it FRAGMENT.

complete verb = complete tense

(Teach examples from Book page no: 21)

Independent Clause also known as Main Clause:  A clause in a complex sentence that contains at least a subject and a verb and can stand alone syntactically as a complete sentence. A clause that makes sense on its own, or may form part of a longer sentence. For example:
We’re waiting for the bus.

Answer 1: b In order to distribute the resources evenly.
Answer 2. a Because each one wants as much as possible of the parents' time and attention.
Answer 3. b Despite their small size.
Answer 4. OK 
Answer 5. b Or even crybabies.
Answer 6. OK
Answer 7. b And to win in a conflict with an older sibling.

Exercise 6: Correcting Fragments.

Answer 1.  Two only children who marry each other may have problems. Because both are used to a lot of attention and approval.
Two only children who marry each other may have problems because both are used to a lot of attention and approval.
Answer 2. An oldest may be happier with an only child or a youngest child. (U: Last Sentence)
Answer 3.  A youngest sister of sisters matches best with an oldest brother who will appreciate her charm and tolerate her manipulation. (U: Second Last and Last Sentences)
Answer 4. The best match for a middle child is often another middle child since both are tactful and normally not aggressive.  (U: Second Last and Last Sentences)
Answer 5. Although only children find it easier to make good matches, there are bad matches for them, such as another only. (U: First and Last Sentences)